My Thoughts:
Okay, so after reading the title, you’re probably thinking I’m some kind of a**hole. Well, maybe I am, but honestly, my wife and her affair partner (AP) had this coming. For me, it’s simple: If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime. And when someone starts the fight, you better believe I’ll finish it.Quick background: I’m 37M, my wife (STBX now) is 34F. I was a crane operator for 15 years and was detached to be the union representative for the last 3 year. My wife is a secretary.
We’ve been married for 14 years, together for 16, with two boys of 9 and 7. We were young when we got together, but we were in love, had a solid marriage, good jobs, and great intimacy. There were no major problems—just a normal, happy life. We lost our virginity to one another prior to our marriage, so for me she was the only one and I thought that I was the same for her.
About two months ago, a new guy started at my wife’s work, we will call him ''Crap''. He’s a team leader in IT, a data engineer, whatever that means, so they don’t even work in the same department. But my wife kept talking about him nonstop—how smart he was, how funny, how charming. I jokingly told her I’d have to keep an eye on him, but she brushed it off, saying she knew who her "real sweetheart" was. After that, she stopped talking about him.
Then things started changing. She started dressing nicer for work—more makeup, new clothes, jewelry she usually only wears for dates. I asked her who she was trying to impress, and she said it was no big deal, just wanted to feel good about herself. I had a bad feeling but let it slide.
The week after, she started working "late". She called me at 4 PM to tell me to go home for the kids. I was pissed off and told her she should have called me earlier. My kids takes the school bus and arrives home just before 5PM, I said that I would have a hard time getting home in time. She apologised and I left immediately to arrive before my kids. She returned home at about 6H30PM. It was not that late, I didn’t say much, but I found that strange. It was the first time at her current job that she had to do overtime.
Two days later, on Thursday, she had to work late again. She called me at 2PM this time. I asked her right away _ You are a secretary, how come you need to do overtime? I understand that you may need to stay a bit to finish something, but overtime should be rare. She responded that it is some kind of special project and she hopes to get a promotion.
This time, she got home at 8 PM, went straight to the bathroom, and when she came out, she had clearly showered. That’s when I knew. She was cheating.
Her Behavior After Cheating:
Friday morning she was in a good mood, and had made breakfast for me and the kids. She tried to be affectionate, I was cold and didn't make any conversation. In the evening, she was still in a good mood and made a special super for us. She had left work early and took the kids from school, and bought a cake from a bakery. She tried to initiate sex that night, and to my shame I gave in. We are very active sexually, average about 4 times a week, but she rarely initiates it.
All weekend she was affectionate and initiated more sex in two days that she usually does in a month. I'm not a fool; I could feel that her affection was love bombing. It felt like it was desperately made to manipulate me. I gave in, thinking that I'm still married to her; so I should enjoy it a little more.
The next Tuesday, she phones me again saying that she needed to work late again. I responded that it is ok and I will bring her food. She tried to say no, that she will eat later at home. I didn't let her finish,
I responded that it is nonsense, she can spend 15 minutes of her schedule for her needs and she needs to eat. Cutting her off, I said that I will take the boys from school and bring them along with some food. We will be at her workplace shortly after 5PM. We will eat with her then and leave right after to let her finish her work. I hang up, not letting her formulate a response.
I left work at 3H30PM, went to pick up my kids at school, and then we went to Mike's for the kid’s pizza, Tim Horton for 12 donuts and finally Tie express for our meal. We showed up at my wife's building at 5H15PM, the receptionist was leaving and was replaced by a security guard. I have been there several times, so I know the guard at the reception. I talked to him a little, said that my wife was working late so I brought her food and I asked him if he would like a slice of pizza and a donut. He happily said yes and thanked me.
At that moment I spotted Stella, my wife's boss leaving. She stopped by the reception desk to greet me and the kids and asked me if I had bought food for a special event. No, I said, my wife works late and we thought it would be great to bring food and eat with her. She looked a bit puzzled, but added that we can take the small conference room next to my wife's work station, it's more comfortable and there is a giant screen TV if I want to cast my computer or a video game for the boys. I thanked her and went upstairs to my wife's work station.
She was at one of the three workstations just in front of the elevator; she spotted us as soon as the elevator door opened. The boys run to hug her, she looks different, I don't know, uneasy and annoyed I guess, uncertain, not knowing how to react. I went right after them, with my brightest smile, kissed her on the cheek, and told her that we will move to the small conference room to eat. She was nervous and told me that she didn't know if we should, at that moment, a man came by the left corridor and told us with a commanding manner that we could not stay here. If he thinks he could intimidate me, he took the wrong guy.
_Hi, you must be Crap, the new data engineer, I said reaching for his hand. He reluctantly gave me his hand and I squeezed with a little more force than necessary. Not so hard for it to be an aggression, but enough to be very uncomfortable. I continued talking with a big smile, we met Stella on her way down and she gave us permission. I don't think you are my wife’s boss are you? We can call Stella to verify if you want?
_No need, he quickly responded, not meeting my eyes, it's all right.
_Well thanks Crap, I responded while releasing his hand, you are really a sweet guy.
My wife was visibly nervous; she almost dropped the food as we moved to the conference room. She was still nervous while eating, always checking the door and the clock.
I inquired with a casual tone, if she is the only one working late with Crap. She responded that she didn't know he was working tonight and that they do not work on the same project.
I press on questioning her, asking if Stella knew of her overtime. She was even more nervous and responded something like she knew that she had to do some overtime, but she didn't know it was today specifically.
I responded that I find that hilarious. A boss that doesn't know when one of her staff does overtime. I didn't let her formulate a response and said that she better go back to her station if she wants to finish soon. She looked at me and the boys, a lot of questions in the air but not saying anything. I gestured to her to leave and told her not to worry, the boys have food, a big TV and a video game casting on it. I will let them finish their game and we will head home.
As soon as she left, I took the left corridor without her notice, and found Crap's office easily. It was the only office with the door open and the lights on.
I knocked on the frame of the door; he looked at me annoyed and angry trying to intimidate me again. I stepped in the office, but stay at the door and said with a smirk
''Sorry to bother you, do you have 5 minutes to spare with me?''
He responded that he had a lot of work to do and if I needed to speak, I should phone on business hours to make an appointment.
_In fact, I was only asking to be polite, I added. I entered, closed and locked the door. His look changes automatically to uncertain and unease. You see, I continued to walk toward him, you and my wife are the only one working in the building and I have to be sure that she is safe with you around. I stopped directly in his face on his side of the desk and sat directly on it. He had a ''l'' shaped desk, so he was trapped in the corner, with the wall in his back, the desk on one side and me in front. Things were becoming very uncomfortable for him.
I looked at him intensely and asked if he understood my concern for my wife's safety. Looking directly in his eyes and added that when like me you got a beautiful wife you have to be careful with that sort of thing. He was sweating, visibly nervous and afraid. I let the silence settle a little bit and I asked out of the blue, if he is married.
He readily said yes, happy to find some common ground. He was nervously talking and talking, saying that they were married for 18 years, he had a 19 years daughter from another marriage and two of 10 and 8 with his current wife. I asked to see a picture and he handed me his phone.
_You are one lucky bastard, I told him, your wife is stunning! I begin to swap the photo on his phone to find the daughters. Your daughters are pretty also, they should meet my boys. You know, we should stay in touch; I will put my phone number in your repertoire.
Time To Beat Him:
He was almost smiling now, probably thinking that we could be pals or something, and then he noticed that I was not putting my number, but looking through his phone. He asked me what the F** I was doing, I responded that he should not distract me, I want to do things properly, I just want to confirm that he is f_ing my wife before I beat the crap out of him.
He tried to stand-up but I kicked him in the stomach and punched him on the nose. He collapsed on his chair, was bleeding and couldn't catch his breath. I said covering my mouth using my best imitation of a woman voice and the same narrative as a cheater,
''I'm so sorry, I never meant this to go this far, it just happened'' I handed him a box of Kleenex tissues, and said take this, _I know we can still fix this. He had a mini bar on a shelf next to his side desk, so I poured him a good measure of brandy. He chugged it in one shot and I poured him another one.
I didn't let him catch his breath, I continued with my own voice this time,
_So, you've been screwing my wife during your so-called overtime?
Look man, he tried to respond, I raise my hand and stopped him in mid sentence,
_You want me to break your harm or your knee cap? I have done that multiple times, so don't take me for a fool. The guy was crying, real tears of fear. A little punch on the nose and a foot in the gut... Pathetic, he wouldn't last a week on the duck.
After that he spilled everything, how it started, the flirting, how they met after work etc. I poured more brandy to help with the confession, but he was still claiming initially that they didn't F**. I have to slap him to make him remember not to anger me more than I already was. He finally confessed that they F*** on his desk three times. I made sure to record all that with my phone. After that, I didn't know what to do with him, letting him go was out of question and beating him seemed useless.
At that moment there was a small knock at the door. As I opened the door my wife stood there frozen, deer in headlight.
I told her _It's not what you think, I can explain ...and I laugh loudly. Take the kids and go home. We will have a talk later, I have to drive your boyfriend home, he had a little too much to drink and we have things to discuss. She left without a word.
Crap was sobbing and begged me not to tell anything to his wife. Don't worry, let me handle things, I poured him another glass of brandy, here one more for the road.
In the car I reminded him that I'm a union representative, that sometimes you have to break some bones to make people see the light. I never went to jail or was never questioned for any of my...«union activities». If he had the funny idea to talk to the police, we will meet again and this time it will be with some of my buddies. Also, I might tell his wife if he pissed me off. He was a bit tipsy from the alcohol, but I'm sure he fully understands the situation.
We arrived 20 minutes later, a beautiful house in a nice neighborhood. I got out of the car and told him to let me handle the situation with his wife. I went to the door and rang. His wife looked through the side window, I saw her and gestured in the direction of my car, so she could see her husband and she came to open the door. She was even more gorgeous than in the pictures. I introduced myself, told her that I work with her husband. I told her that we had just finished a project and were having a little celebration in the office and her husband had a little too much to drink. He fell off the stairs. I have decided to take him home. She asked me if he broke something or was injured. I responded that he seems fine and that I will help him to the door.
She came with me to pick him in the car, we were on each side of her husband, helping him to walk. We put Crap on the couch and his wife asked me if I would like some coffee? Just a glass of water will be fine, I responded, she said that it is the least she could do after what I did for her husband. I accepted and she went to the kitchen. I sit next to Crap on the couch. _See, I told him, I handled everything, you are safe for now. Tomorrow we will discuss retribution.
Flirting Infront Of Crap:
His wife came back with coffee for all of us. We began to talk and I was openly flirting with her. It was small, not heavy flirting. I was just complimenting her for her look, the decoration of the house, her children, her perfect figure, you are training obviously I added. She was visibly enjoying the attention. Crap was still sitting there, humiliated, but didn't say a word. I finally left after about 45 minutes and went home.
I arrived home between 8: 30 and 9PM. The kids were in bed, but my wife was waiting for me. I ignored her and went to take a shower before going to bed. She came to bed and tried to initiate, but I stopped her abruptly. She turns away and starts sobbing.
The next morning, I made sure to leave before her and went to work. After work, at 5 PM, I ordered a club sandwich and ate it in my office. I was not planning to go home yet, so I went to the mall to buy a cinnamon cake and some flowers, then headed to Crap's house.
His wife opened the door, and was all smiles when she saw me. I greeted her, saying that she was as beautiful as ever. I bowed as I gave her the flowers, saying that it is for the inconvenience I might cause to a stunningly beautiful woman. I know it is family time and that you might not have finished eating yet, but I have an important work matter to discuss with your husband. She invited me in, saying that they had just finished eating and it was no big deal. She led me to the kitchen table where her husband and daughters were still sitting. Hello girls I said joyfully, can I borrow your dad 10 minutes in exchange of that? I said while putting the cinnamon cake on the table.
Crap had a worried expression seeing me, while the girls only had eyes only for the cake. I complimented his wife on her daughters, so cute, so well mannered; she should be a proud mother. Crap stepped up to say that we can talk in his home office. I apologized to his wife again and went with him.
As soon as he closes the door of the office, I grab him by the throat. Don't think that I forgot about you and my wife, I said, you need to compensate for the damage you have done and for the bruise on my ego.
_What do you have in mind? He asked.
_Well, I responded, I can beat you and break both of your legs, it's fast, clean, no hard feeling after that...Deal?
He was pale as a ghost, visibly sweating; I guess physical confrontation is not his forte.
_Relax, I added, we can surely find something less barbaric, after all, I have become a sophisticated gentleman over the years. You F my wife 3 times, normally it is $1000 for a session in the prostitute market, so you owe me $3000 bucks...Deal?...He was stuttering...I don't know when I can give you that kind of money.
I pretended to lose my control, Crap, I'm doing my best to avoid sending you to the hospital, and you complain about money! Ok I have one last deal for you, if it doesn't work I will take my pound of flesh. How about I f* your wife 3 times? You already f* mine, so it is justice. I didn't wait for his response, I was turning to leave the home office when I remembered a detail. I turn back and punch him in the rib cage. Sorry but it has to be done to even the score, I have only hit you twice for your three F* sessions. Now we will be good after I have fuck your wife 3 times.
ALSO READ: I Caught My Cheating Wife With Best Friend
After that, I stayed and had cake and coffee with them, flirted a bit with his wife and made funny jokes with the girls. I left their home and went to mine. My wife was waiting on the couch again. I asked her where the kids were. She responded that she already put them to bed. It was only 8PM, so I doubt that they were sleeping, so I went to their room, hugged them, said that daddy is home, talked a little and left to take a shower. I went to bed directly after, even if my wife was waiting for me on the couch to have a discussion.
On the days that followed my wife tried to talk, but I didn't give her the time of day. I kept in touch with the AP’s wife, sending emails, exchanging phone numbers, and talking to her during my lunch breaks. We eventually met for lunch and had S*x on the second lunch date.
Tit For tat:
It's been 4 weeks now; we had a lot more than the 3 S* sessions we agreed on. I can say that we are affair partners now. Crap and my wife know about us and I have told Crap's wife about him and my wife. She hasn't confronted him yet, but is making him paid in every way she can.
My wife tried every day to talk, to justify her cheating and fix things, but I shut that down and told her that we will get a divorce. The day I told her that, she cried all day, missed work for a week. She then calls her HR department to report her affair with Crap. Crap was immediately fired and my wife was suspended for a month. Crap was a mid manager which explains why they were harder on him.
She then said that she will stay with her parents for the weekend to give me space, but she returned Sunday morning with an offer. She offered to sign a postnup in my favor to protect me in case of cheating. If she cheats, she will only receive 25% of the house and joint money, and no alimony. She claimed that she loved me, she didn't want to lose me, she wanted to be by my side to the end. She said that my affair with Crap's wife was killing her inside, but she was willing to let it continue if I stayed with her.
I thought that my love for her was dead, but her conviction re-ignited something. I don't understand it and hate myself for feeling that way.
If she loved me so much how come she f* another guy? I think that we had the perfect marriage, why did she feel the need to inject some drama, to make us miserable? Can we really grow past this? Did my relationship with her AP's wife evolve to something more than physical? What did I have to lose if I tried reconciliation?
What a crap show! Things are really getting messy. Should I stick to my guns or give a shout at reconciliation, knowing that separation will be in my favor if it doesn't work. The main question is, do I still love her enough?
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