The Betrayal trauma isn't about just having the realization about what have you done but also helps you think about each and everything you did, the pain you give to your loved ones and the stress you and others facing, there's few stages of betrayal trauma which helps you understand this and helps you improve yourself not just for become a good person and a good partner as well.
The seven stages of betrayal includes love, affair, stress, obsession, cheat, anger and recovery, according to the latest norms and cheating in a relationship is about betraying your partner who is ready to sacrifice everything for you but the realization comes when you successfully ruined everything by cheating and betrayal and now lets talk briefly about each stage in details which are explained down below.
7 stages of betrayal trauma:
- Shock
- Denial
- Obsession
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Mourning
- Acceptance/Recovery
What requires for a healthy relationship isn't just the trust and love but there's many factors by which you can have a great and healthy relationship, but just in case if there's just a little doubt in your mind about cheating in your partner, then you have to face the harsh reality in which you would be shocked about the consequences, you will be keep denying your actions and start giving explanations about everything.
The obsession of controlling everything is a very dangerous part when you only want to control everything and eventually keeps ruining your relationship with your partner and when you can't control everything, then the next part of anger comes, where you have this feeling in your heart that you are a waste and no one loves you and the anxiety attack and angers clearly running your happy relationship and also rely on the 80 20 rule of cheating.
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The bargaining part where you keeps thinking about different things knowing the fact that you are unable to fix anything and the. mourning when you finally realized that there's no more trust left and you finally loss your healthy relationship and then the acceptance or recovery comes where you knew that you destroy everything because of your infidelity and now there's only thing you can do to fix everything and trying to a good partner and gain the trust of your partner and that's not an easy task but all the consequences you knew you would have faced and still you fall in the trap of infidelity and ruin your happy relationship because of your betrayal.
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Grief after betrayal/Betrayal Trauma:
One of the most important stage of betrayal is the trauma after the infidelity of your partner, main thing to understand about this is not just the trauma for the person who betrayed but also the stress and trauma for their partner who faced all of this because of your infidelity.
The moment you realize that nothing is going to be the same again after your partner find out about your infidelity, you have this feeling come in your heart that whatever you do now is a try to make things better as its now a trauma stage where you keeps thinking about your acts and keep thinking about how can you fix all that.
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The trauma is not just for the cheater but also for their family, the partner, the kids and the parents too because its all the consequences of just one person cheating in a relationship but it effects so many other people, your partner can't look at you the way they looked at you before and also the kids started hating you, even though in most cases the parents support you after your infidelity but mostly the parents cut ties with you too and start avoiding you.
healing from infidelity:
The trauma after infidelity is the first stage as after that the healing process comes when the person try their best to heal and focusing on their mistakes and try their best to improve and Gain back the trust of their partner, kids, parents, family etc, the healing process might be hard but it gave back you the power or become a better person and prove the love and trust for others.
The person who got caught after infidelity is completely broken inside and is just finding a way to make the things better for themselves and for others. Once they realizing their mistake they try to be a better person, they keep asking for their partner to forgive them and apologize them as its just the burden on their heart that whatever they did was wrong and they hurt others, they hurt their loved ones and from now they do anything to fix that.
The healing process is the hardest stage where it decide for the cheater to be the same or gets the forgiveness from their loved ones, it's basically the realization process where you completely agree about what you did was wrong and you just swears that you never betray again and try your best to save your relationship and your family, its the realization that yeah you made the. biggest mistake in your life, as broken trust and having an affair but now the thoughts after betrayal can't give you peace until you completely fix Everything again as its the stage of healing and recovery.
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Can trust ever be rebuilt?
Simple answer is yes, as with time the trust can be rebuilt but as we explained earlier it takes time, it needs you to put effort in it, only apologizing is not enough to rebuild the trust you broke because of your infidelity and betrayal, but also its the realization about your acts, you have to feel the pain you give to your loved ones and now its not like they are going to forgive you for your betrayal after your apology but you have to earn it again.
This topic ( The 7 stages of betrayal ) is not just about the cheating and consequences but its a roadmap to finally understand that your acts can hurt people and it just not only the cheating between 2 people its the harsh reality that after your partner find out about your betrayal, this can hurt them, this is basically ruin your whole life, you have to be more specific about the healing and recovery to gain back the trust of your partner and always remember one thing that in order to have a healthy and happy relationship the love is not important but also the trust, the support, the caring is more important.
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